Bad Day/Bright Side?

Holy cow. In the PYB's quest to see the bright things in the dark she had her work cut out for her today. So here goes...

1. Even though it took 30 minutes to finally reach a live person at the mail order prescription place via her health plan  she managed NOT to stroke out although she could feel her blood pressure rising.

2. Even though she had two phone calls from superintendents that weren't happy and Boy 1, her boss, is on vay-cay, she was able to diffuse the situations.

3. Even though she had to fight rush hour traffic and go from one side of Atlanta to the other she managed not to go into full fledged road rage therefore not tripping the delicate balance that is her expired license.

4. Even though, after fighting the traffic, and after she treated herself to a Yogli Mogli, and finding her battery dead, she is grateful for her Rachel at her 2nd job who rescued her AND that she knows how to jump a car as this is a reoccurring issue for her.

5. Even though the mail order pharmacy called the PYB back but couldn't discuss why she was calling because the prescription was for her 18 yr daughter and the rep "can't discuss the reason for the call; please have your daughter call us back" even though the PYB ordered and paid for the prescription, she managed not to be completely and totally rude. (as it turns out it was just a courtesy call to let said daughter know when it will be mailed.  Damn HIPPA).

6. Even though it was an unusually weird & frustrating day she has a nice bottle of Riesling to sooth her and is just glad to be home.

Phobia

The day had been going so well.

She was productive at work even with the paranormal experience. She hit the library book sale and only made it to the fiction tables Z-S (she'll go back tomorrow). Then it was dinner at her favorite Mexican restaurant where she was leisurely enjoying an exquisite piece of grilled salmon atop a bed of spring mix with dried cranberries & almonds drizzled with a mango vinaigrette. Such a good day.

Until.

The Mariachis. 

Showed up.

Check please!

BIRTHDAY RANT AHEAD! WARNING!

She has to renew her Georgia driver's license as it expires TODAY. This is what she now needs to take with her to prove who she is:

1. Passport or birth certificate (certified!!)

2. Marriage certificate since her name is not the same as the one on her birth certificate

3. 2 proofs of address

4. 1 proof of social security number

She does not have her birth certificate and has sent away for that two weeks ago. She doesn't know how fast the Okies will get that back to her. She doesn't know where her marriage certificate is and JUST found out about that one today. It can be a photocopy but can't copy what you can't find.

She have lived here for 26 years. She has paid taxes here for 26 years. She has birthed two children here. She has received and paid traffic tickets here. If the State of Georgia doesn't know who she is by now then they're just too stupid.

THIS.IS.RIDICULOUS.

She's taking up a collection for the ticket she most definitely will get for driving with an expired license. She's gotta go to work for crying out loud. And, who knows, maybe they throw you in jail for it now.

Just damn, Georgia. Get.it.together.

A Break Up Letter to the Flu

Dear Flu,

The PYB is breaking up. It’s not her; it’s you.

Yes, at one time she was feverish over you and would strip down to nothingness just to cool off. But, you are a fickle one and would instantly chill her to the point of making her teeth chatter. There wasn't enough flannel in the house to make it stop. She wants no more of this!

Her body ached for you like none other. It wasn’t a longing type of ache but a reaching-into-her-bones-and-stirring-the-marrow kind of ache; one that hit her to the core of her being and bruised her from the inside out. She wants no more of this!

You tired her, so. The utter exhaustion you rained upon her wore thin.    And because of the pain you caused it has been hard for her to rest; she couldn't get it off her mind. She wants no more of this!

But, still, you didn't stop. You messed with her head: the headaches, the dizziness, the confusion. Tylenol would give her temporary relief, but she needs a healthy liver so Flu, you must go. She wants no more of this!

She has a new influence in her life now.

You see, the PYB has met Tami. Tami treats her well and soothes her pain and suffering. Tami may be expensive, but has proven to be worth every dollar. It was a rough night, but Tami got her through and is making you, you disgusting Flu, a slowly fading memory. Each day, she is certain, will get better from here on out and she has Tami to thank for that. 

Go on, now. Be gone. You are no longer wanted here...not that you ever were. If you even THINK about coming back, think again. Tami is introducing the PYB to the SHOT; known to be a bit of a prick, but loyal. She has quit you, Flu.

The Stranger Factor

Today the PYB was listening to a podcast called Snap Judgement. Several of the episodes are stories about lives being transformed by the act of a stranger. Here's the PYB's....

While at student at THE Ohio State University the PYB had a piddly, part-time job in a Fotomat booth. Remember those? Her shift was from 3p-7p and then she'd make a bank drop on her way home. 

This particular Monday was routine, but it was the Monday after the turning the clocks back so it was pretty dark by 7p. When she arrived at the bank she pulled up to the curb and got out of her car to put the deposit in the bank slot. The lights around the bank were out so it was fairly dark. As she made a few steps toward the building two men came running around the corner of the bank with pantyhose over their heads. Honestly, pantyhose. She thought that only happened in movies, “Son, you got a pantie on your head,” (Raising Arizona). Immediately, the PYB tried to dash back into her car and was screaming her head off, but she didn't get the door shut in time. The robbers pulled her out and punched her in the face to shut her up and her glasses went flying off. Still screaming like a madwoman (she was) she was fighting back and trying to get loose. The guys grabbed the deposit from her hand, all $90 of it, and her book bag which contained a Glamour magazine, a tampon and her wallet. The asshole who punched her gave her a push and then they were gone.

She was so stunned she just stood there for a moment and then tried to find her glasses. How could she drive home without them? Truly she’s blind without them. A car pulled up behind hers and, thinking it was the robbers again, she jumped into her car and squinted her way to the gas station next door to call the police. Yes, this happened before the advent of cell phones. She wasn't making any sense to the gas attendant in the glass box while trying to explain what had happened and that she needed the police when a voice behind her said, "Don't worry, we saw everything and my cousin is chasing after them." 

The voice belonged to a young woman named Carmen Kerr. She and her family had been walking back to their car from a restaurant and heard the PYB screaming. They were in the car that pulled up behind the PYB at the bank. Carmen hopped out and ran after the PYB to the gas station while the rest of her family followed the robbers in their car. Lo and behold, they got close enough to write down the license plate number and then drove to the gas station to talk to the police that had arrived. About twenty minutes later the assholes were caught on the other side of Columbus with the PYB’s book bag and deposit.

Because of the involvement of strangers the three thugs were caught. Two were brothers and one of them had just been released from jail; he’d been serving time for manslaughter. There had been four, but they kicked one guy out. There was, after all, only $90 in the envelope and they probably couldn’t divide that by four.

Carmen and her family very well could have saved the PYB’s life that night as the thugs had a sizable knife with them (it was left in her book bag after the trial was over). The assholes were sentenced to six to eight years and hopefully they served all of it, but probably not.

That night the PYB asked Carmen for her address. She knows she wanted to send her flowers, but doesn’t remember if she did or not. However, she does remember sending a thank you card. Carmen gave the PYB a deposit slip that had her name and address on it. It was from Society Bank. The PYB has kept that slip in her wallet all these years. She’s looking at it now. She often wonders where Carmen is and if she understands the impact she has had on a complete stranger’s life and if she even remembers the incident. 

The PYB certainly does.

The Petite Young Blonde's Guide to the New Year: The 2013 Edition

Compliment one person every day.  It may just be what someone needs to hear to turn that person’s day around.

Be patient with the fast food worker taking your drive-thru order. His job already sucks and the intercoms are cheap. He’s probably doing the best he can.

 Take your old towels and stacks of newspapers to an animal shelter.

Write and send a love letter.

 Treat yourself to a luxurious bath: bubbles or bath salt, scented candle, wine and a good book (don’t drop the book – she speaks from experience). Do this at least once a week. It’s relaxing and helps one to decompress.

Not exactly what the PYB's looks like......

Leave extra grocery coupons on the shelves next to the items for which they can be used. It’s always a nice surprise to find them.

If you use toll roads pay for the person behind you. Again, it’s a nice surprise.     

     

           Smile.

Get enough sleep. This may require laying down the law with kids or putting the Stupid Damn Cat (PYB’s night-time nemesis) in the basement. Melatonin can help. The people around you during the day will thank you. It’s beats being a cranky-ass.

You know the little things that piss you off on a daily basis and tend to put in you in a bad mood? Try just shaking your head and snicker about them instead. Just try it. Anger can wreck the whole day/life.

And bouncing off the guideline above – laugh at yourself.  As a good friend always tells the PYB: it’s content.

Go to a museum, a play, a ballet, or listen to some live music. Feed your creative/artistic side (yes, you have one; you just may need to find it).

Turn your phone off (!!!!) and read a book or listen to some Elvis Costello (sheloveshim).

Need to fix a rift between yourself and a friend/parent/relative? Fix it - starting today.

Tell the people you love that you do – often. No one ever gets tired of hearing it!

I love you a lot. I love you passionately. I love you like crazy.

    

And finally, remember life is short so always, ALWAYS drink good coffee.

May you have a prosperous, spirited and mentally-nutritious 

Happy New Year!

PYB and Her First True Best Friend

It was a long time ago; when lime green and gold where the "hot" decorating colors of the day. The PYB had just moved...again. She had already been to 3 different elementary schools and there she was in yet another new place that she had to get used to. This time it was in Grand Prairie, TX. One would think a kid would get used to having to adjust to a new school, but for a shy third grader it just wasn't so. 

The morning after the movers left the doorbell rang and the PYB and her Petite Soeur beat their Mama to the door and flung it wide open.  There, on the small concrete porch, stood two boys. Boys! They were standing there with muffins or danish of some sort saying hello, welcome to the neighborhood and they lived next door. Boys. For crying out loud. Why couldn't they be girls?? That move couldn't have become any worse in the PYB's opinion.

We learned the boys were Spencer, a 6th grader, and Kirk, a third grader like the PYB. At some point during the next few days the PYB's parents became acquainted with the boys' parents and little did they know at the time it was to be a lifelong friendship. She remembers thinking that the boys' mom, Nadine, was so beautiful, so kind and made really good breakfast food. It was decided between Mama and Nadine that Kirk, since he was her same age, would accompany the PYB to the bus on Monday and sit with her to and from school for the first week. She thought they had lost their minds! Sit with a BOY on the bus? No way. Surely he wouldn't agree to that either. Never.Gonna.Happen.

On Monday The PYB and Kirk were sitting on the bus not saying a word to each other.  Spencer, on the other hand, was taunting them making the situation even less desirable.

It went on that way for a week and the next week and the week after that and so on, but by the second week they were talking and even going to each other's house to play. They spent hours and hours together. If her memory serves her correctly Kirk taught her to roller skate (metal skates hooked to one's shoes). He also taught her how to shuffle cards; she can see him in her mind's eye sitting on the floor of his parent's living room one leg tucked up under him and the other bent so his chin would rest on his knee, rocking back and forth while they played card games. They'd build villages out of cards all down the hallway of his house. They'd watch Shirley Temple movies on Sunday afternoons and Little Rascals after school. They laughed a lot. On the weekends they'd spend time with her sister, his brother and the PYB's crazy cousin, Jami, while all their parents played poker, drank and smoked. She loved living there and she loved her best friend, Kirk.

After about a year she had to move again. And they lost touch. She's only seen him on several occasions since. He got married and still lives near his folks. Her parents stayed in touch with his parents through the years and all the moves  and eventually the PYB's parents wound up back in Grand Prairie so she'd hear snippets of info about her childhood friend and how he was fairing.

The PYB has now learned from her father that Kirk's dad has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer which makes her heart so heavy. The PYB's mom had lung cancer and died as a result of a complication of surgery and radiation. She wants to reach out and give Kirk a virtual hug...she's hoping to connect with him soon. He probably doesn't know what his friendship meant to the PYB all those years ago and she wants to waste no more time in telling him.

Here's to the first best friends in our lives - cheers!

The Daily Ryan

This Seems To Be Happening A Lot More Lately...

Dear Sears Parts Department,

All the PYB needed was copy of a receipt to complete an expense report so she called the number on the Visa statement. She was informed that the number was no longer in service; try this new one. Ok, she did that.  After getting through the obstacle course of the phone tree she was on hold for seven minutes. Did you know that Sears parts recommends you change the water filter every 6 mo? Then the phone rang – hurrah!

**static** “Your call cannot be completed as dialed”

Are you freaking kidding?

So, she tries again. This time she was on hold for 4 minutes after being sent through the phone tree and was so excited when someone answered she hit the disconnect button instead of taking it off the speaker. FML.

So, she tries AGAIN. Immediately she screams, “CUSTOMER SERVICE!!!” and lo and behold it rings straight through and someone answers.

*dances jig*

The PYB explains what she needs and wouldn’t ya know, “M’am, I can’t help you here. Let me connect you with the correct department….” Ok, at least it’s progress.

New rep answers, she explains again what she needs and, “M’am, this is for home appliances. You need to call 1-800 blah blah blah.” She tries to remain polite as that’s what her Mama taught her.

So, she tries again. Immediately placed on hold…again. Did you know Sears is your one stop shop for all your appliance needs? 3, 4, 5 minutes tick by. Then the phone rings – hurrah! Finally, she has found her customer service guru and he has all the right answers. It only took about 30 minutes total.  Sometime between now and MAYBE the end of the day she should receive the missing receipt  via email that was supposed to arrive via USPS in the first place.

Sears…GET.IT.TOGETHER.

Sincerely,

The PYB

An Open Letter to United Healthcare

Dear UH,

It took her approximately 10 minutes to get to a live person when she tried to call you about an issue she was having. First she had to get through your blasted computer lady.


“To get started first tell me why you are calling,” the smooth, calming computer voice said.

PYB: Benefits

“Now tell me your ID number.”

PYB: 231321534643123 (then she coughs)

“I heard (repeats number) is that correct?”

PYB: No

“Please repeat the ID number”

PYB: 6479431647646464 (withheld cough)

“I heard (repeats number) is that correct?” She swears there was a tone in the voice that time, “is THAT correct you stupid human who can’t enunciate your words?”

PYB: Yes

“Now please state your date of birth.”

PYB: February 28

“I heard February 28. Is that correct?”

PYB: Yes

“Please hold while I transfer you to the right department.”

holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding

“You’ve reached the ___ department. In order to better serve you please enter your ID number.”

She had done that already!!

PYB: 231321534643123

“I heard (repeats number) is that correct?”

PYB: Yes

“Now please state your date of birth.”

PYB: February 28

“I heard June 28. Is that correct?”

She now has the phone on speaker.

PYB: No

“Please repeat your date of birth.”

PYB: February 28

“I heard October 28. Is that correct?”

PYB: NO!

“Please repeat your date of birth.”

PYB: (loudly) FEBRUARY 28!!
“I heard February 28. Is that correct?”

PYB: YES!!!!

“Please hold for the next available representative. Your call may be monitored or recorded for quality purposes.”

holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding

“Hello, this is Pam. How can I help you?”

PYB states issue.

“I’m sorry I can’t help you with that, but let me transfer you to the department that can. It will be about a two minute wait for a representative.”

holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding
holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding

The phone is still on speaker at this time.

holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding

“Ms. PYB, I’m still trying to reach someone in that department.”

holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding
holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding
holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding


“Ms. PYB, thank you for holding. I have Robert on the line to help you.”

She was so startled by Pam’s voice that she accidently hit the disconnect button instead of the speaker button and lost the freaking call.

So…she started all over again. The fix took all of 3 minutes. It took her about 20 minutes just to get to someone who could help her. Did she want to take a satisfaction survey at the end of the call yes, she did. Did she want to leave a voice message? Why, yes, she did.

PYB: Hello, this is the PYB, please hold while she connects you with someone who can assist you……… holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding
holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding

Get it together!

Signed,
The PYB

An Open Letter to the Users of the Unisex Bathroom at the North Entrance of the Building

The PYB has had this discussion with you before but, as with small children, it bears repeating over and over again.

Let's go over basic bathroom etiquette. No, let her clarify. Let's review basic public bathroom etiquette.  You see, this is not your personal restroom. The PYB doesn't care what you do at home, but she does care how you handle your bodily fluids and waste in a public setting where she is also sitting.

1. After you do your business please wipe the seat if there's been any splashage from you or from the violent eruption of water that occurs when flushing. Nobody wants to wipe up your leftovers and not be able to take a shower afterwards. 

It's disgusting.

2. If you use a toilet seat cover don't leave it on the seat after you are done! This is not a multi-use item! While it does assist in splashage cleanup The PYB doesn't want to be the one to stuff it in the commode.

It's disgusting.

3. For God's sake flush the damn thing. Unless you are five years old or less you don't have an excuse for not following through with the flush. It's not show and tell. The PYB doesn't want to see that you had corn the night before. 

It's disgusting.

4. Don't put the TP roll on the floor. There are two places to hang it so put it back where you found it...unless you found it on the floor then just throw it away. Who knows what got sprayed on it sitting down there.

It's disgusting.

5. Ladies: you know where the PYB is going so just throw your used stuff in the trash. Stashing it behind the toilet, on the sink or any other place other than the trashcan won't work. 

It's disgusting.

6. Whoever is filling the toilet with chunks of paper towels can just stop it right now. What are you? Twelve?? What's the point? Are you protesting something? Is it a hilarious joke? Do you have a vendetta against the cleaning crew? Snap out of it. This is a college for crip's sake.

It's disgusting. 

The only consolation The PYB has is that she's off to a new job at the end of the month and there's only four people working there: 3 men and The PYB. And guess, what? She has her own bathroom.

A Guest Appearance by the TBF - WHY SHE HATES RAPPERS!

OK, you guys know me. For the most part, I believe you would agree that I'm easy to please. I don't really have to have much to be happy and content. I try to stay out of folks way. I support when I can and how I can. I try to make it easy on others - if I can - even to my detriment sometimes. In short, I'm a pretty typical woman! That said, I need to get this off my chest and explain why I now HATE rappers.

Now that we're all over 40, most if not all of us can understand the raging hormonal issues that present themselves in this decade. For me at least, the "ranges" of hormonal shifts and the intensity of my "moods" have significantly increased. The good news is I typically stay in these places for a shorter duration of time (probably a way to ensure the world doesn't come to an end) but the level of my emotions is much stronger than before... imagine that.

That's the first bit of background I wanted to share. Here's the other to really help you understand the level of my "pisstivity" and why I now HATE rappers. The other piece is my need for sweets during this time. You all know what an affinity I have for chocolate. I've always had it and probably always will. Well, as you can imagine, my need for chocolate - or any sweet - is another indicator that now shoots through the roof when I am 'hormonal'.

That said, let's go back to last Sunday. My trainer (note I didn't call him my man, my boyfriend, etc.... didn't even call his name... indicator about how I'm feeling about him at the present moment, but I digress...) made me a pie. When I say I was overjoyed... words could not express the immense happiness that I received from tasting that pie. On Sunday, I actually had two pieces. It was truly divine. When I left the gym - now here's where I screwed up - I left my pie. "Why" you ask? Good D@$N question! All I can say is that I was picking up food the next day and thought it best to pick it all up together. What a mistake that turned out to be....

Fast forward to today. I had such a wonderful morning! A good workout. Great quiet time. Therapeutic shower. Watched a little Star Trek Next Generation. Took a nice nap. Got up before my alarm went off and went downstairs to eat a fish sandwich and take a bite out of my pie. Found my sandwich tray, took my first bite and found that heaven does indeed exist on earth. Finished the sandwich and was just about to open the refrigerator and pull out my pie to pack my bag when my trainer said, "Uh Janine (always a bad damn sign...) guess what happened yesterday - you won't believe it. Uh, THE RAPPER (no names to protect the guilty) went into the refrigerator and accidentally knocked your pie onto the floor. Aurora (the dog) really enjoyed it!"

Ladies, the rage I felt at that moment was one I've not felt often at all in this life. I believe I literally saw red. Why in the H$@#L was THE RAPPER in the fridge! He's a rapper! Shouldn't he be somewhere making up rhymes or something?!?!? There's a big @$$ sign that indicates if you are not kitchen personnel, you shouldn't even be in the kitchen - much less touching the fridge to the extent that you knock something out of it!

I AM SO DISGUSTED I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! So, I'm writing this email in hopes that it will squash my over the top, hormonal reaction to losing my pie. I am also upset that my trainer did fix it. Chris' appointment was at 1 PM on yesterday, so why in the world was there not a NEW pie in the fridge waiting on me when I got ready to pick it up at 9:00 AM?!!

You wanna know why?!?! Cause MEN DON'T UNDERSTAND HORMONES!

That's alright... I can show a monkey better than I can tell 'em...

I think I feel better. Thanks for allowing me to vent. Love you all and I hope you are doing well.

I'm off to find something sweet and my trainer better not say NOTHING about it! :-)

The PYB & Elvis Costello

* a review of the Atlanta Revolver Tour concert, September 24, 2011, Elvis Costello and the Imposters

It is a well-kept secret that the PYB loves Elvis Costello (sheloveshim). This one-sided love affair has been going on since 1980 when she was introduced to him via some crazy girls who lived next door to her. She has all his albums/cds/dvds, t-shirts (one circa 1981) and numerous buttons none of which she could find to wear to the concert – mild panic sets in. The PYB is fairly sure that the Revolver Tour featuring The Spectacular Spinning Songbook is only the fifth time she’s seen him live. Clearly, it could have been more but it usually depended on her financial situation at the time.

The show was at Chastain Park Amphitheater which allows the concert-goer to bring their own food and drink; very nice! It’s pretty small and intimate with decent view of the stage wherever one is sitting. The PYB had a pretty good spot last night…it would have been better to be in the very front, however.

Upon walking into the venue and seeing the one and only Spectacular Spinning Songbook she truly believed she might hyperventilate.  It was b e a u t i f u l !  

Most of the show involved audience participation, thus the need to sit up front, and those lucky enough to be picked were able to go on stage, just inches away from Elvis, and spin the wheel. Oh, how she wanted to spin Elvis’ wheel!! In addition to the wheel was, yes, a Go-Go cage.  Lordhavemercy did she ever want to dance in that cage!

Shortly after being seated, the lights went down,  and...there he was…Elvis (sheloveshim) Costello! The PYB was on her feet and “woo-hooing” like an idiot. she’s quite sure of it. She’s quite sure that the cute Argentinian couple next to her were looking for another place to sit.

EC and the Imposters started off “I Hope You’re Happy Now” and right into"Heart of the City," "Mystery Dance," "Uncomplicated" and "Radio Radio." He barely took a breath! And can the PYB just say what a bunch of stuffy-duffs were in her section? Yep, she was the only one dancing and carrying on.  How on earth does one sit during Mystery Dance or Radio Radio???  His awesome Go-Go Dancer didn’t stop once during the barrage of music…ah, something new to aspire to be!

The first skank lucky girl to spin the Songbook

 Other spins gave the audience:

• Town Cryer - SPIN 2
• Alison - SPIN 3
• Stella Hurt - SPIN 4
• Watch Your Step - SPIN 5
• Secondary Modern – (not a spin, they just wanted to play it)
• "I Can Sing A Rainbow" Jackpot - SPIN 6

Elvis (ilovehim) playing guitar while dancing with another skank lucky girl.

All this time The PYB could not believe she was there…the band was so ON and looked like they were having such a good time. The subsequent spinners were invited to sit at the Atomic Café and enjoy a cocktail or take a turn in the cage.  She HAD to get down there!

Songs that followed were:

·      Greenshirt/Red Shoes/Purple Rain (yes, Prince’s Purple Rain)

·      Poor Fractured Atlas/Talking In The Dark

·      Payday

·      His Latest Flame

·      Beyond Belief - SPIN 8

·      Accidents Will Happen - SPIN 9

·      And Your Bird Can Sing (Beatles)

·      Everyday I Write The Book - SPIN 10

Yes, Skank Lucky Girl # 5 or 6. Ah, hell, she lost count.

And then they left the stage. 

No. They couldn’t be done yet! No “Pump It Up" or "Monkey to Man?” (EC’s personal fav). And, the PYB hadn’t been chosen for the wheel yet!! What a tease EC can be! 

Of course, they came back on stage and performed “Condemned Man” and “Watching The Detectives.”  Two more girls were chosen to spin, but they just wanted to hear “Peace Love and Understanding.” I’m not really sure they even knew any other Elvis songs, the little wenches. They stood there and giggled. Annoying.

So, thus ended the evening and The PYB's two dreams for the evening went unrealized, blast it and curses, but The Great Elvis Costello (sheloveshim) did not disappoint and she loved hearing all her old favorites. He was in great form and the Imposters never skipped a beat. Perhaps The PYB should have started a Facebook campaign to get called up to spin the wheel. FB campaigns for anything and everything seem to work. Too little, too late...BUT, there IS the show in Indianapolis next week....!

(SHELOVESHIM!)

The Petite Young Blonde’s One and Only Political Rant

As a rule the PYB refrains from discussing politics especially with those whose views differ. She has learned that most folks are pretty steadfast in their beliefs and no one is going to change hers and she highly doubts she could change anyone else’s mind either.  She will NOT be attempting to that here, in case you thought that’s where this rant is going. No, she’s just plain disgusted and needs to get a few things off her chest. Lucky you. So without further ado, The PYB presents her reasons for the disdain she holds for  politicians in no particular order.

1. Political campaign commercials – or “let’s see what bigger lie I can tell about my opponent than he told about me for a gazillion dollars of air time.”  These things are a crock. The PYB really doesn’t care to listen to this crap any more. Thank goodness for the mute button and she can’t hit that thing fast enough during election time. Wouldn’t you like to see them completely abolished from TV and radio? You aren’t getting truths from ANY of those jokers in 60 seconds so what’s the point?  Guess what – YouTube is free and one of the highest used search engines – let the public decide which political commercial they want to watch and stop force feeding it to the public at large via television and radio.

2. Speaking of campaigning it’s pretty sickening to think of how much money is spent trying to convince “non-believers” to come to the politician’s camp.  The millions spent on one, just one, campaign could do so much good by feeding the hungry in THIS country, or buying books/computers for school kids, or hey, how about using as a bonus to firefighters, policemen & women, and teachers! Multiply those millions by the number of tacky politicians running in state and national elections and the deficit could just possibly go down a few notches. 

3. Campaign money – stop taking it from the big corporations! It can be compared to a date: the fella buying dinner is going to expect a lil’ sumpin’ sumpin’ for doling out his cash.  It’s for the people by the people. Not for the megacorp.

4. Social Security.  Ah, hell, never mind. The PYB will never see it.

5. Healthcare. Sick people = a sick nation. Healthy people = a healthy nation. Pretty simple. 

6. To all the hot-shot male politicians – Keep.It.In.Your.Pants.

7. Education. No Child Left Behind is a DISASTER.  It creates 5’10” 14 year olds still trying to get out of 5^th grade. Ok, small exaggeration, but you get the drift. It has also tied the hands of good teachers who could really make a difference if given the chance to really teach a subject and not teach for a standardized test.  Atlanta Public Schools. Enough said.

8. Taxes. Hey, Washington! Check it out: www.fairtax.org.

9. Washington perks – she wants some of that! Her job is as equally important to the people she has contact with on a daily basis and the PYB does it without lying, corruption, blackmail, kickbacks or extravagant trips and gifts. Ok, so sometimes a client will bring her a cupcake or a thank you card; not the same.  She’d like her healthcare insurance without all the red tape, too. 

10. STOP THE “WE” AGAINST “THEM” CRAPOLA! It’s United States not Democrat States or Republican States or, God forbid, Tea Party States.  People in Washington -  hear the PYB when she says, “start working together.”  If it's a good idea does it really matter what party presents it?? When the PYB taught preschool her 3 year old class cooperated better than you bunch of bozos.  You’re acting like fighting siblings for crying out loud. She is NOT impressed. It’s flat out disgusting. Are you really sure you’re representing your constituants’ wishes? She thinks not. Or, is it your ego vs. their ego? She thinks so.  Suck it up, put your egos on hold and do the right thing by the people in this county; she doesn't care what party you represent. If you don’t watch out all of you will be sent into permanent time-out. Grow the F up.

11. The Speaker of the House, who is white, should not have darker skin than the mixed-race President of the United States. Stay out of the tanning bed; it causes melanoma, dumb-ass.

And finally:

12.  Would a strong, brilliant, NORMAL female PLEASE step up and replace the crazy, nonsensical, foolish, idiotic, silly, absurd, ridiculous, ludicrous, preposterous, farcical, laughable, imbecilic, harebrained, cockamamie, half-baked, impracticable, senseless, cockeyed, daft, kooky whack jobs of women who think they qualify to run this country.  Maybe one or two who know their American history, foreign policy, doesn't practice witchcraft (allegedly or real), can follow through on their commitments and have sassy gay friends. The PYB is completely embarrassed for her gender.

Oh, wait; any sane, strong, brilliant, NORMAL woman would never consider running for office while that current political climate is still in Washington.