The Petite Young Blonde Goes Retro

 You know how the PYB LOVES her music......

And this is WRONG in SO many ways!

"How the PYB's Steam of Consciousness Went From Zit to Church While Looking In the Bathroom Mirror"

Due to circumstances beyond her control the Petite Young Blonde will have to cancel her social engagements for the next five days.  You see, she has a ginormous, ugly, red zit directly about the dimple in her chin.  You simply can't miss it.  It's the ONLY thing a person will notice about her in spite of her awesome glasses and blue eyes. And just damn; it's about time for this kind of crap to stop already! It's like the finger of God burned a mass of flesh right there on her face.....

......you know the story about chin dimples don't you?  The PYB learned of this story at the impressionable young age of eight. She remembers it quite clearly. The story unfolded on the barren playground (read "parking lot") of Roquemore Elementary in Dallas, TX.  An evil child, who will be called Belinda because that was her name, told the very young PYB that when she, Belinda, was born God pinched her cheeks and said, "Aren't you precious!" thereby creating her incredibly deep (and precious) dimples.  Evil Belinda then proceeded to explain to the PYB that God created her chin dimple by pressing his finger into her chin and saying, "Go away!"  The very young PYB was horrified and yelled, "He did not!" and ran away.  Deep cheek dimples do not belong on vicious little girls....


......she realized that this was the same evil girl who told her, in a whisper, again on the barren playground, that the girls who sit on the curb during recess with their head tucked all the way inside their winter coats so they look like headless bodies, do so because they like to smell their "girl parts." Smell their girl parts??

What was the evil girl talking about??
The young PYB knew darn well that the girls had their heads inside their coats because they were sent to play in a parking lot in northern Texas in the winter and the freaking wind NEVER stopped blowing.  Those poor girls were just plain COLD.  Belinda was evil incarnate and the young PYB didn't have much to do with her after the dimple incident.....

.....but she didn't really know about the whole God's Finger In the Chin explanation either because she didn't go to church growing up unless she was in Konawa, OK with her Nana and Papa. Maybe the Bible did have the God's Finger In the Chin story? All she learned from the little churching that she had was that God was always angry when she sinned her little girl sins like dumping baby powder on her baby sister's face while she slept in the crib.  He also didn't like music in the church; oh, singing was fine, but no instruments.  He was to be "feared."  That didn't make much sense to her but if the preacher said so maybe God did poke his powerful finger in her chin and tell her to "Go away.".....

.....the church she'd like to visit is Sister Louisa's Church of the Living Room and Ping Pong Emporium located in Atlanta.  Music! Cheap sangria and hot dogs!  That sounds like her kind of place! She's guessing the proprietor wouldn't poke his finger at her and yell, "Go away!" either....

.....however, everything must wait until this monstrosity of a zit on her chin goes away.  Now, where's the blasted Clearasil?

The Petite Young Blonde Does the Bossa Nova

As some of you know The Petite Young Blonde enjoys making a parody of art, albums and celebrities.  Here's her spin on old Bossa Nova album covers. And, as usual, she cracked herself up! There's more where this came from in her photo albums on her Facebook page; peruse and enjoy!