Thursday, August 18, 2011

The Petite Young Blonde’s One and Only Political Rant

As a rule the PYB refrains from discussing politics especially with those whose views differ. She has learned that most folks are pretty steadfast in their beliefs and no one is going to change hers and she highly doubts she could change anyone else’s mind either.  She will NOT be attempting to that here, in case you thought that’s where this rant is going. No, she’s just plain disgusted and needs to get a few things off her chest. Lucky you. So without further ado, The PYB presents her reasons for the disdain she holds for  politicians in no particular order.

  1. Political campaign commercials – or “let’s see what bigger lie I can tell about my opponent than he told about me for a gazillion dollars of air time.”  These things are a crock. The PYB really doesn’t care to listen to this crap any more. Thank goodness for the mute button and she can’t hit that thing fast enough during election time. Wouldn’t you like to see them completely abolished from TV and radio? You aren’t getting truths from ANY of those jokers in 60 seconds so what’s the point?  Guess what – YouTube is free and one of the highest used search engines – let the public decide which political commercial they want to watch and stop force feeding it to the public at large via television and radio.

  1. Speaking of campaigning it’s pretty sickening to think of how much money is spent trying to convince “non-believers” to come to the politician’s camp.  The millions spent on one, just one, campaign could do so much good by feeding the hungry in THIS country, or buying books/computers for school kids, or hey, how about using as a bonus to firefighters, policemen & women, and teachers! Multiply those millions by the number of tacky politicians running in state and national elections and the deficit could just possibly go down a few notches. 

  1. Campaign money – stop taking it from the big corporations! It can be compared to a date: the fella buying dinner is going to expect a lil’ sumpin’ sumpin’ for doling out his cash.  It’s for the people by the people. Not for the megacorp.

  1. Social Security.  Ah, hell, never mind. The PYB will never see it.

  1. Healthcare. Sick people = a sick nation. Healthy people = a healthy nation. Pretty simple. 

  1. To all the hot-shot male politicians – Keep.It.In.Your.Pants.

  1. Education. No Child Left Behind is a DISASTER.  It creates 5’10” 14 year olds still trying to get out of 5th grade. Ok, small exaggeration, but you get the drift. It has also tied the hands of good teachers who could really make a difference if given the chance to really teach a subject and not teach for a standardized test.  Atlanta Public Schools. Enough said.

  1. Taxes. Hey, Washington! Check it out:

  1. Washington perks – she wants some of that! Her job is as equally important to the people she has contact with on a daily basis and the PYB does it without lying, corruption, blackmail, kickbacks or extravagant trips and gifts. Ok, so sometimes a client will bring her a cupcake or a thank you card; not the same.  She’d like her healthcare insurance without all the red tape, too. 

  1. STOP THE “WE” AGAINST “THEM” CRAPOLA! It’s United States not Democrat States or Republican States or, God forbid, Tea Party States.  People in Washington -  hear the PYB when she says, “start working together.”  If it's a good idea does it really matter what party presents it?? When the PYB taught preschool her 3 year old class cooperated better than you bunch of bozos.  You’re acting like fighting siblings for crying out loud. She is NOT impressed. It’s flat out disgusting. Are you really sure you’re representing your constituants’ wishes? She thinks not. Or, is it your ego vs. their ego? She thinks so.  Suck it up, put your egos on hold and do the right thing by the people in this county; she doesn't care what party you represent. If you don’t watch out all of you will be sent into permanent time-out. Grow the F up.

  1. The Speaker of the House, who is white, should not have darker skin than the mixed-race President of the United States. Stay out of the tanning bed; it causes melanoma, dumb-ass.
And finally:

  1.  Would a strong, brilliant, NORMAL female PLEASE step up and replace the crazy, nonsensical, foolish, idiotic, silly, absurd, ridiculous, ludicrous, preposterous, farcical, laughable, imbecilic, harebrained, cockamamie, half-baked, impracticable, senseless, cockeyed, daft, kooky whack jobs of women who think they qualify to run this country.  Maybe one or two who know their American history, foreign policy, doesn't practice witchcraft (allegedly or real), can follow through on their commitments and have sassy gay friends. The PYB is completely embarrassed for her gender.

Oh, wait; any sane, strong, brilliant, NORMAL woman would never consider running for office while that current political climate is still in Washington.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Open Letter to the Chastain Park Jogging Woman

Good morning,

The PYB can tell that you run alot. She means ALOT. You are so tan and totally cut, but also freakishly skinny, like a 12 year old boy. She's sure your running partner has a hard time keeping up with you.

Oh, you don't remember the PYB? 

She was one of the two people in the blue Scion who was waiting for you to cross the street so that they could take a left hand turn. You see, you were jogging up the hill in your black sports bra and cropped lycra jogging pants that outlined your impossibly tiny, but muscular legs, and we stopped so that you could cross the street and not have to stop your run. But, you DID stop. In the middle of the road. And stretched like a sleek black cat with your arms up above your head and then dropped your torso with your hands down to your shoes and turned around so that your ass was facing the car. The driver's side of the car. Where the Hunky Husband was sitting and waiting to make the turn. Yes, Ms. Chastain Park Jogging Woman, we noticed. Especially as the pink rubberbandish waist strap of your neon pink thong popped out of your lycra pants. Nice. Classy. Right there - in the driver's side window. Then, after a count of about 10 seconds you straightened up, did a head roll, looked at the HH and started back the way you came. Really?

The PYB can only hope the sound of laughter followed you down the hill. 


The PYB.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Spectacles for the Petite Young Blonde

The PYB doesn't wear eyeglasses just as a personal fashion statement. She is optically deficient; sad, but true.  So it's time for her to update her prescription and find a new pair of frames.  Of course, her first choice is ALWAYS cat-eye, but for true vintage cat-eyes she would need to shrink the size of her head which isn't currently an option unless she resorts to using this crazy-ass product:

No way! Not even for cat-eyes. Fashion doesn't have to hurt.

After scouring the internet for HOURS the frames pictured below are what the PYB has found thus far. She would greatly appreciate any and all suggestions OR if you have any leads on vintage frames for wide-headed women with quirky tastes in well, everything, please let her know!

These are pink plaid...PINK PLAID!!

Hard to see, but these have rhinestones and are in the current running for sunglasses.


Blue and gold - go Wildcats!

Pink and black zebra stripe! Also being considered for sunglasses & the closest she's found to true cat-eyes.

More pink! She's sensing a trend...

Black and lime green with cut out flowers!

More black and lime green.

Red and white stems!

The PYB can embellish these herself with crystals.

And finally, more pink frames.

She values your well thought out & insightful opinions; or, whatever pops into your head.  Comments below............