Dear UH,
It took her approximately 10 minutes to get to a live person when she tried to call you about an issue she was having. First she had to get through your blasted computer lady.
“To get started first tell me why you are calling,” the smooth, calming computer voice said.
PYB: Benefits
“Now tell me your ID number.”
PYB: 231321534643123 (then she coughs)
“I heard (repeats number) is that correct?”
PYB: No
“Please repeat the ID number”
PYB: 6479431647646464 (withheld cough)
“I heard (repeats number) is that correct?” She swears there was a tone in the voice that time, “is THAT correct you stupid human who can’t enunciate your words?”
PYB: Yes
“Now please state your date of birth.”
PYB: February 28
“I heard February 28. Is that correct?”
PYB: Yes
“Please hold while I transfer you to the right department.”
holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding
“You’ve reached the ___ department. In order to better serve you please enter your ID number.”
She had done that already!!
PYB: 231321534643123
“I heard (repeats number) is that correct?”
PYB: Yes
“Now please state your date of birth.”
PYB: February 28
“I heard June 28. Is that correct?”
She now has the phone on speaker.
PYB: No
“Please repeat your date of birth.”
PYB: February 28
“I heard October 28. Is that correct?”
PYB: NO!
“Please repeat your date of birth.”
PYB: (loudly) FEBRUARY 28!!
“I heard February 28. Is that correct?”
PYB: YES!!!!
“Please hold for the next available representative. Your call may be monitored or recorded for quality purposes.”
holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding
“Hello, this is Pam. How can I help you?”
PYB states issue.
“I’m sorry I can’t help you with that, but let me transfer you to the department that can. It will be about a two minute wait for a representative.”
holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding
holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding
The phone is still on speaker at this time.
holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding
“Ms. PYB, I’m still trying to reach someone in that department.”
holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding
holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding
holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding
“Ms. PYB, thank you for holding. I have Robert on the line to help you.”
She was so startled by Pam’s voice that she accidently hit the disconnect button instead of the speaker button and lost the freaking call.
So…she started all over again. The fix took all of 3 minutes. It took her about 20 minutes just to get to someone who could help her. Did she want to take a satisfaction survey at the end of the call yes, she did. Did she want to leave a voice message? Why, yes, she did.
PYB: Hello, this is the PYB, please hold while she connects you with someone who can assist you……… holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding
holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding holdingholdingholding
Get it together!
Signed,
The PYB
Friday, February 17, 2012
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